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[kv]

[10-11-62]Hello... hello, is this thing on?
Is it on? Yeah, okay. Light is blinking. It's on.

Hello. My corporate mandated post-traumatic stress therapist gave me this pocket computer, and said if I talked into it and kept a journal, that I would be much easier to work with. I don't know what she's complaining about, though. She gets paid by the hour.

Anyway, I'm here because some guys wrecked my patrol car while I was still in it. I broke both legs, about eight ribs, and my right arm. So the company put me up in this really... uhhh... nice hospital, where I can recover from the accident, both physically and mentally. I also had a pretty bad skull fracture, and I lost one eye. And I can't hear anything out of my let ear, but the nurse said that the company is paying for new cosmetic cyberwear, so I'll look just like I used to.

[10-13-62] My therapist just showed up again and told me to make another journal entry so that the healing could begin. But I'm healing just fine, sitting on my hoop and watching trideo soap operas all day. It's either that or Urban Brawl, and I haven't been able to watch Urban Brawl since I heard that they have deckers add special effects to the footage before it's played. I don't know if it's true, but seeing Johnny Unitas flying over that crowd, firing the flamethrower- the thought that it might be fake... well, that would be a little too hard to swallow. Okay, so mostly I'm just sitting here, I can't stand watching those pretty elf and heavily cos-med surguried orks talking about thier feelings.

Mostly I talk to the nurses and doctors. Apparently there's some hoo-doo about me not signing the "please insert experimental cyberwear into me in the case of injury" waiver when I joined the security company. I would have like everyone else, but my Dad taught me about those things when I was a kid, and I always watch out for them now.

[10-14-62]Okay, so my Dad. The therapist should love that. My Dad was a good lonestar cop. He worked hard, with lots of overtime, to support my mom and me. And when he could, he did work on the side, as a security guard or a bodyguard from time to time. He always told me "You need to work as hard as you can to make a good living- no one ever got ahead in life being lazy."

So yeah. Sorry, Ms. Therapist. No horrific stories about the time my Dad touched me. No deep-rooted psychosis for you to unravel and write papers about.

No, honestly, my Dad was a good guy. He took care of my Mom and me, and we had a lot of fun. I was only 14 when he died- he had congestive heart failure that apparently runs in my family, and so my Mom and I lived on his pension for the next few years. His cop buddies would stop by from time to time, but after one of them made a pass at my mom and she clocked him, they sort of stopped coming by.

My mom and I did okay. I graduated high school, nothing special... I didn't do great in classes, but I wasn't dumb, either. I think I frustrated a lot of my teachers. I heard the words "so much potential!" an awful lot.

When I was a kid, though, my Dad always told me that if I looked around and observed, I would learn more than I ever could from a book. And my Dad didn't go to college. But my mom insisted, so I apllied and got accepted to Seattle U, mostly because of the glowing reccommendations that my Dad's captain gave me, and I was there for most of a year before my Mom died.

It was hard when my Mom died... I don't know, something about it made me feel really alone. But I didn't turn to alcohol or drugs (two things my Dad swore against), so I spent a lot of time with his cop buddies and I got to know them pretty well.

Some of my Dad's buddies weren't exactly... clean. Not that they were as bad as the criminals they were arresting, but a lot of them would get extra cash doing cleanup for the mob or the yaks or the triads, and later, even the russians when they finally rolled into town. They were good stand-up guys, though. They wouldn't let me get my hands dirty.

So I stayed out of trouble, and when one of these guys moved from LoneStar to one of the other companies, he offered to put in a good word and get me a job. I took him up on it, and they put me into regular patrol after my training period.

Patrol was good. Micky, the guy who got me the job, would sometimes pass down assignments that weren't always... exactly within the companies best interests. But Micky taught me that if I took care of him, he would take care of me. And since I was working, I saved up my Dad's pension checks, and put them in a retirement account. I think my Dad would have been pretty happy about it.

[10-16-62] Frag. They're investigating Micky. So that might not be great. And apparently someone is a little pissed that I passed over the waiver to dump cyberwear into me, because I'm an only child with both parents dead, and I make a great candidate for someone that no one will miss. Which is why I passed on the waiver in the first place.

[10-18-62] Okay, so after talking with one of the nurses here- a dude, don't get your hopes up- there is one cute blond nurse, but I'm not getting my hopes up either... anyway where was I? Oh yeah. After talking to this nurse, Milo, he said that if I got some bone lacing, it would actually really help the healing process. So I talked to my doctor, Dr. Walters, he agreed that bone lacing would help my bones knit quicker, and that I would be tougher than I was before.

I thought about it for a long time- I mean, I thought about it pretty much all of that day, and most of the next day, and by the third day, I was pretty much decided on it.

I've never gotten cyberwear before. My dad was pretty strongly against it, seeing as how most of the criminals he busted day after day were loaded up with the stuff, and he always told me that the church would condemn it. Oh, my dad was catholic, in case I forgot to say that before.

[10-19-62] Okay, so I talked to Dr. Walters again, and told him I wanted to bone lacing. I've never had cyberwear before, so every horror story I've ever heard is racing through my mind, and I'm afraid I'm going to wake up with a cranial bomb like that omae in "Dr. Boom Head," but Dr. Walters said that he'll personally oversee the surgery, so nothing like that will happen.

[10-20-62] Frag! Stupid corporate insurance. Apparently, because I didn't sign the waiver allowing them to pump me full of cyberwear, my corporate insurance doesn't cover it. I mean, one second they want to pack me off to some lab to test out cutting-edge stuff, and the next they're upset when I asked if I can get plastic one my bones?

What the frag is up with that?

[kv]

[10-21-62] Okay, I talked to Dr. Walters, and he said he'll give me a cut rate to put in the cyberwear if I can pay for it myself. I was telling him I didn't have the money for that, when I realized that I DO! I was so excited about the thought that I just stopped talking, and Dr. Walters was afraid that I had started freaking out, so he kept asking me if I was okay.

I told him that I did have the money- that my Dad's old pension was more than enough to pay for the surgery. And he agreed, and took the check, and wandered off to prepare for the surgery, when Milo came on for his shift, and I was talking to him about it. He said that it wasn't hard for them to start the surgery once they already had me open- and since I was going under for a cosmetic cybereye and ear replacement, I could get some other stuff done too.

The way he explained it was pretty cool- they actually inject these nanites into you, loaded up with the plastic that's going to go on around your bones, or titanium or porcelain, or whatever your bone lacing is made of, and those nanites actually seek out the cartilage of your body and infuse it with this plastic... or substance, you know what I mean.

He said there's a chance that the nanites will attach to just any cartilage in my body, so I might have a slightly tougher nose or ears and stuff like that, but I don't care. When I was talking to Dr. Walters, he said that I would be walking again in a matter of days, rather than months. I don't know if I can take much more of those soaps- I mean, Rosa and Patrick are so happy, and if only Gretchen would leave them alone, they'd be fine. Why can't she just mind her own business?

Wow... that sounded way less gay in my head.

[10-25-62] I was talking to Milo again, and he said that as long as I'm getting my eye replaced, I should just upgrade it. He's right too- what's the point of having an expensive eyeball that's just the same as my old one. What the hell is the point in that?

Milo smuggled me in a "Sharper Image" catalogue, and I've been looking at it. I can't stand watching soaps, especially with Betty trying so hard to ruin her own life. It just isn't right.

Anyway, I looked over the catalogue, and when Dr. Walters came back in to check on me, I told him about the upgrades I had been looking at. He thought it was a good idea, and so I cashed out most of the rest of my Dad's pension and paid him for the extra work.

I'm getting one full cybereye- and I'm keeping my normal eye... it just doesn't seem right to cut out something that's perfectly fine. But I'll have the one fully upgraded cybereye, and the hearing enhancers, since they have to do reconstructive work for my eardrum to work again anyway. One thing that Milo talked me into, although I was considering it anyway, was that I should get a ARESARMS Smartlink system. I don't like the idea of them inserting a wire that runs through my body like that, but Milo argued that if I get it, I'll pass the physical and ballistics firing range and be back at work in less time than if I had to re-train myself. He's right, too. Every moment I'm in here means I'm not earning any money. Stupid corporate loophole about my wages paying for my hospital care.

[11-4-62] Okay, so Dr. Walters agreed to do the surgery, but there's been some sort of delay. They've had me sitting in this bed for a week, and I feel like crap. My back aches, and I hate watching those soaps. You know what killed it for me? Rennie died. I mean, he was a cool character- someone I could really identify with, and they just killed him off for ratings.

[11-5-62] Uhhh... and now Rennie is a ghost. Maybe I should stop watching soaps.

[11-7-62] The therapist came in again and told me I should be better about keeping this journal. She told me that how far I've come is important, but I don't get that bulldrek. I've been sitting in this hospital bed, drugged up and trying to wait patiently for surgery, and I haven't done anything but talk to Milo, Dr. Walters, or this stupid record...

[11-7-62] Sorry about that. I was talking when Jenny, the cute blond nurse came in. I guess the soaps are good for something, because they were on when she came in, and we ended up talking about them for a couple of minutes before she left.

It was actually kind of cool, because she usually just ignores me. I don't blame her. Half of my skull is bandaged up from the accident, and I can't hear out of my left ear, so I might be talking like a retard or something. But she came in and said something, and the first words out of my mouth, because I was a little light headed was about how it was stupid that Rennie is a ghost, and she laughed and said something about another of the characters.

[11-8-62] Drek. She already has a boyfriend. Drek drek drek. I mean, she is cute, so I should have known... but how come all the hot girls you meet aren't those ones who are so hot that no guy will ask them out? I've heard of them- where the frag are they?

[11-15-62] Dr. Walters came in and said that he had finally made all the arrangements for the surgery, so they wheeled me into the operating room, drugged me, and I passed out. This is the first day that I've been coherent enough to talk to anything. Jenny still comes into my room, but she doesn't talk to me much. I need to get caught up on Soaps.

[11-16-62] Milo came in again, which was weird, because I haven't seen him for a while. He said he had been working on an ambulance, which is cool, because that's what he wanted to do, but I missed him being around and having someone to talk to. It's really quiet here, and I just get bored... or I guess lonely.

[11-17-62] The therapist said that my feelings of lonliness are perfectly normal. Which creeped me out, because I hadn't said anything to her about it. But I guess it was pretty apparent that I needed someone to talk to, because she came and we talked for the full hour. Which is weird- this is the first time that's happened.

[11-18-62] Milo visited again, which is cool. He usually pops in after his shift and says hello, but I was awake this time, so we talked about sports and work and everything. It was cool. I'd rather talk to him than a therapist anytime. Jenny, the blond nurse, came in, and Milo got all quiet and weird until she left again. After she left, he said they used to date. He laughed when I asked if I had a chance with her, and said that with that much  gauze around my head, I should stick to blind dates for a while. I thought that was pretty funny, with my eye still covered up, so we laughed about that for a while.

[11-20-82] Caught up on Soaps. That Beatrice is a SLITCH!

[11-21-82] Apparently Jenny broke up with her boyfriend. I tried to tell her Milo's joke, but it came out wrong. She laughed, but I don't think she thought it was funny.

It's alright- Milo came and visited me, and we talked for a long time about sports and stuff. He's big on Old fashioned soccer, but that never really held my interest. Not enough shooting or cheerleaders. But listening to him talk about it, maybe I'll have to catch a game with him.

[11-24-62] Awesome! Dr. Walters came in to check on me for the first time in a long time. He said he'd been busy with other patients, but that's cool. I'm jsut happy to see someone I know. Jenny, the blond nurse, switched out or something, because there's a white guy nurse checking on me now. So between Milo and Dr. Walters, I have enough visitors.

[11-25-62] Wow! Micky came to see me today! It was really cool. I asked him how he was doing, because I had heard that they were investigating him or something, but he said they couldn't make anything stick, so he just needed to keep his nose clean for a while, and he'd be fine.

He asked how I was doing, and I told him about the upgrades I got for the eye and ear, and he thought it was a pretty good career move. I asked him if he thought my Dad would have been okay with it, and he said that my Dad didn't like "cyber"- he said it like it was a disease, but he also said that my dad "Wouldn't want his kid to be no cripple," so me getting a new eye and new ears, that was something my Dad would have been okay with.

I told him I got the smartlink, too, and he said that he hated it back in the day when they had to wear the goggles or glasses and worry about tangling the wires that went to the gun, and he had gotten one himself a few years back. He was impressed that I had gotten the new version, because he had heard good things about it.

Micky said he'd be back to visit me for Thanksgiving.

[kv]

[11-27-62] Micky came and saw me for Thanksgiving. He brought me a couple of real beers- he said it was a 'cop tradition' to bring the guy in the hospital something to drink, and although cops had kind of gone away before my time, I would have made one hell of a cop.

It meant a lot for me to hear him say that... just, I don't know. He's kinda been a mentor for me ever since my Dad died. He was one of the few who still came around after my mom hit that guy, so I've always been able to rely on him. He's a good friend.

[11-28-62] The therapist is irritating me. She says I have father and abandonment issues. I'm so fragging tired of talking to her. She was asking me about my mom dying, but I really didn't want to go there with her. What the hell does this have to do with some other corporate guards smashing my car on thier getaway?

[11-30-62] Wow, it's almost Christmas. I got a visit from Father McLawrence, my Dad's old priest. He said that he hadn't been able to get ahold of me once I was in the hospital, because they usually don't allow non-employee personel to visit. I told him it was okay, and it was. It was cool of him to come visit, even though the company made it tough for him.

He laughed and we talked about my Dad, and he told me stories about staying up late drinking, which I didn't know priests could do, but apparently irish priests can. He told me that my Dad used to call him when he was in trouble- not just being bad, but when he needed help with magical stuff. I didn't even know Father McLawrence knew anything about magic, but apparently he's a Sylvester, whatever that means. I guess it means that he knows magic, because my Dad called him all the time. I promised him that if I was able to get around, I'd be there for Christmas mass.

[12-1-62] I finally found out why Father McLawrence got to visit. I was just trying to find something to watch other than soaps, and apparently Micky was killed in a car accident or something. It was on the news, but the story wasn't about him dying. it was about him getting out of some sort of cover-up and police graft a bunch of years ago. They were calling him dirty, which pissed me off, so I threw the remote at the trideo and just lay there crying.

I bet the therapist will love this.

[12-2-62] Yup, she did.

[12-3-62] My first bit of good news in a while. Dr. Walters, who has been checking in on me from time to time, finally came through and said that the cyberwear-never connections should have healed enough at this point for me to get used to the hearing, and start using the cybereye and training my muscles to work with it.

He flicked a switch on a remote that was supposed to attack the power supplies for my cyberwear, and... it was weird. I could feel them powering up, like a hum that had always been there, only now I know what it is.

At first when he took off the bandages, I felt really dizzy. He said that was my ears and not my eyes, but it still took a while for me to be alright. I threw up once, and then I started to get used to it, the sound that is. Everything sounds so crisp and clear. I can hear a whisper at fifty feet, but when someone drops a pan or something, I only know that it's supposed to be loud, because I can't hear the bang. It's a weird feeling, but I'm getting used to it pretty quick.

Dr. Walters said I had to get used to that before he activated the eye, because I had both ears replaced, and only the one eye, so he was afraid that it would take me longer to adjust to the hearing than the sight.

I threw up again, and then he said he would come back another day and start helping me with the therapy to get used to it.

[12-5-62] Physical therapy is going good. The other therapy not so much. The therapist just wants me to talk about my feelings about Micky dying. I don't really want to talk to her about that, so mostly we talk about the weather. It's raining.

Anyway, physical therapy is good. They haven't let me use the cybereye yet, but I'm geting really good with the hearing. They also took off most of the gauze, and I'm looking pretty normal again, aside from the giant white eyepatch they have me wearing until I can start using the eye.

I think Jenny noticed it, because she's a lot nicer to me now. Of course, I'm less drugged today, so I'm slightly more charming. My bones are healing great, and I'm moving around just fine. They even started letting me run again. That's nice. After almost two months of hospital gowns, I have pants and shoes on and I'm running.

[12-6-62] Okay, so Jenny is definitely being nicer to me now. Milo noticed it when he showed up, too. He said I should do okay with the ladies with my face regrown. We laughed, and he talked about soccer, and I finally talked about going to a game once I get out.

He laughed, and said the first beer was on him.

[12-7-62] A bunch of suits showed up today to "talk" to me about my cyberwear. Apparently someone isn't very happy that I paid for it myself, and now they want to know where I got the money for it. They didn't seem happy that I had answers for all of thier questions, but I told them about my Dad's pension, and that seemed to stop them cold.

[12-11-62] Okay, two months in here. I'm finally moving around okay, and I don't throw up at all for being off-balance. Dr. Walters said that the ears are now calibrated correctly, and we'll start on the eye tomorrow. I'm finally started to get real excersize, and it feels good. I lost a lot of weight sitting in bed for a month, and I'm eager to be up and about again.

Jenny and I talked for a long time, and I asked her if she would come out to a club with Milo and me after I get out. She laughed, and said she'd consider it if I did everything she asked, and I was actually quick enough to ask if she only liked subservient men. That got a good laugh out of her, and I think she actually is considering it.

Milo said it sounded like a date to him, but he was afraid it'd be weird with him having dated Jenny before. I said I didn't think so, but when I talked to Jenny about it later, she said it might be weird. So she offered to bring a friend, so it wouldn't be weird with just the three of us. I asked her some about her friend, but she was all cryptic about it, and said Milo would just have to meet her himself.

[kv]

[12-12-62] Okay, so my day went from bad to worse. Those corp guys came back, and said that they were starting to investigate me, and I should come clean and save myself the hassle. I was a little pissed, because I got promoted right before the accident, and they were talking down to me like I was a gutter trash criminal.

I heard my Dad and Micky talk about strong-arm tactics, but I had never seen anyone use them before, so I did what my Dad and Micky always said about it- I stonewalled. I told them I didn't have anything to give them, and I didn't have anything to hide, so they could investigate all they wanted.

I mean, I had run a few errands for Micky, but that stuff was off the books, so there's really no way they could have known.

[12-13-62] The therapist kept asking me about Micky when she came today. It's creepy, it's like she's in my head. I've been thinking about Micky ever since the suits came by yesterday, and it's screwing with me.

[12-14-62] Yeah, she kept at it again today. And the suits posted a guard at my hospital room door, saying I was "a possible flight risk," frag, it's not like they paid for anything that's in me anyway.

[12-15-62] Milo was my bright point today- he came and BSed his way past the door guard, and he, Jenny and I all talked about going to the club. It should be right before Christmas when I get out, but they're both going to be free, so we're going to do it. After Jenny left, Milo looked at the door for a while.

I asked him what he was thinking about, and he said "Nothing," but I knew he was thinking about her. I told him that I would take one for the team, and meet the friend, and he could hook up with her. I mean, I like her, but bros before hoes, right?

[12-16-62] The therapist asked me today about my chauvinistic tendencies. I wonder if she gets to read the stuff that I put in here. That would be akward. Especially since I've been picturing her naked, sweaty and moaning every time we've been meeting for the last two months.

Hahahahha... just kidding, Milo told me that sometimes when a therapist is worried about a patient, they can ask the corporate board to give them access to personal stuff, so they can better treat the patient. I wondered if she had been reading this thing, but Milo said it was pretty rare, so it wasn't likely she would be able to.

[12-17-62] Oh. Frag. I think she does read it. Because when she was scheduled to come today, she was running late, and looking a little flushed, and she couldn't look me in the eye. I mean, I'm not bad looking, other than the patch, but ... wow. Oops. That last entry was just meant to be a joke. No sexual frustration or fantasy to read about here.

[12-17-62] Okay, I've thought about it for a while, and I'm a little pissed that the would invade my privacy like that. I mean, they gave me the thing so I could have an outlet, not so they'd have an easier time spying on me. I mean, I don't mind the therapist, because it's supposed to help or whatever.

[12-18-62] The therapist told me. She said that after Micky died, she started reading my entries because she was worried about me, which was actually kind of cool of her. After she told me about it, I confessed that I was embarrassed about imagining her naked, and she blushed bright red. Which was funny. I think it makes us a little more even, even if it was just a joke.

Jenny said she thought it was funny, and mentioned that Milo asked if she wanted to have a late dinner after work. I told her to go for it- Milo is a good guy, and I don't care if she dates him. He's also the only one who visits me regularly. And I'm already meeting the friend, so that's okay.

[12-19-62] Release date is getting closer and closer! They're letting me work out in the gym here in the hospital, which means I'm picking up the muscle mass that I lost while in bed. They traded my gauze eyepatch for a normal white one, because they're still trying to calibrate it correctly. I don't know if the nurse knows I got the upgraded cyberwear or not, but he's just doing the normal calibration, and I need the infrared calibration as well.

[12-20-62] My therapist asked me about the promotion today. I guess I mentioned it in one of these things, and I hadn't told her about it before.

Okay, so before the accident, I had been promoted from patrol to light security. Those are the guys in armor who respond to building intrusions, keeping out riff-raff and squatters, and criminals. Stuff like that. I had been working on my training on my off-time, and they had already sent me the armor and weapon and I was ready to go, and I just had to finish out my patrolling shifts before they could start assigning me to buildings as security.

I was on my second to last shift, and my partner, Eddy, and I were driving around, patrolling our area. There was a flash of light, which we responded to, and we saw an explosion near the garage. I was driving, so I pulled the car in front of the garage, when this huge monster-truck of destruction, with tank plating armor and three different miniguns mounted on it rolls over us. Eddy was in the passenger side, and I think he died in the crash. I don't even remember the thing hitting us- just seeing it, and then waking up in the hospital.

Apparently they expected me to have some brain damage, but I don't. Thank god. Speaking of which, I really meant it when I told Father McLawrence that I was going to start coming back. He's a good guy, and I can't imagine what hoops they made him jump through to get in here.

Oh, and one other bit of news- Jenny and Milo are dating now. Jenny is a lot nicer to me now, and Milo is pretty damn happy about it.

[12-21-62] Okay, so the suits are pretty unhappy with my cyberwear- they say it was "unwarranted" and that it should be removed. Dr. Walters went to bat for me, though, saying that my optic nerve was having a hard enough time healing, without yanking out old cyberwear and installing new stuff.

I thought it was pretty cool of him, and he patted me on the shoulder and left. The suits thought I had made some sort of deal to get the cyber, but I told them I honestly just asked for it to be installed, and my Dad's pension account happened to have enough to cover it.

They didn't like that, but they bought it, so they left me alone. Hopefully for good. I mean, I put any extra money I made into my Dad's pension fund, and it was from another company, so they can't check on it.

[12-22-62] Two more days before I get out! I got some bad news- Dr. Walters said that my optic nerve isn't healing quite fast enough, so I'll have to wear a patch over the eye and come in for checkups. He said they had the eye calibrated correctly, so within a week or so, if he saw good progress with the healing, that he would fire it up and we'd check the calibrations. I'm excited. A little nervous to meet Jenny's friend with an eyepatch, though. At least he promised to get me a black one before I left. I don't want to wear a "white white, look at my eyepatch it's white!" eyepatch to a club.

[12-23-62] One day to go! The therapist said I'm making good progress, but I should keep seeing her. I smiled when she said that, just because I thought of the time I joked about picturing her naked and everything, but I don't know if she knew what I was smiling about. She said I can keep the pocket computer, and update it whenever I want. I laughed and said if I had any more sex dreams about her, I'd let her know, in case she didn't have a chance to read it every day, and she laughed too. She is kind of cute, but a little too old for me. God, I hope she doesn't read that.

[12-24-62] I'm outta there! Oh, hell yes. I promised Father McLawrence that I would go to mass, so I did, even though it was boring and everyone asked about my eye and told me like six years too late that they were sorry about my dad. It was good to see some of the old people though- they were always nice to my mom. But I probably won't see them again until at least Easter.

So, I'm going out with Jenny and Milo and her friend tonight, and I'm a little nervous. I had to get some new shirts, because I've actually bulked up a little more than I was before my accident, and I wanted to show it off. But I don't know how my dancing is going to be. Nervous nervous nervous!

[kv]

[12-25-62] Merry Christmas! I haven't really celebrated it much since my mom died, because I don't have any other family, and ... well, you know. I can work that one night and make quadruple-time in pay, and it makes life a LOT easier. I also used to work Easter, New Years and Thanksgiving, but I guess that's going to have to change, because Milo said I had to come have dinner with his family those nights.

Maybe I will. I haven't decided.

Anyway, the real reason that I wanted to say something tonight is because I met a girl. Not just any girl, but this gorgeous, slim, funny, wonderful amerind girl. I don't know why Jenny never told me anything about her- she's awesome. Her name is Sydney. Sydney Two-Feathers, and I guess she's Salish, which means that she actually just came into Seattle to meet me.

Milo and Jenny got drunk and danced, and Sydney and I got really drunk and danced, and it was awesome. Milo said I should slow down, because I just got out of the hospital, but I really wanted to just MOVE after so much time cooped up.

We got home early early, and I'm pretty sure we fooled around for a while. I think she passed out. I know I did. But it was a lot of fun, and exactly what I needed.

[12-26-62] I got a call from my old friend Cooter today. I haven't spoken to him in... wow, a few months. He said he couldn't set foot in a corporate enclave, which is very much a Cooter thing to do, but he said he wanted to update me on his theories about the world around us.

Cooter is a funny guy. I haven't sat and talked with him in forever.

[12-28-62] I just got the weirdest call. It was the suits that harassed me while I was in the hospital. They were asking me about my association with 'non-corporate employees,' which is weird, because I don't live inside the corporate enclave, so MOST of my contact with people are non-corporate employees.

They flagged me as a security risk, and lowered my clearance level. I'm supposed to be on leave right now, paid leave no less, so I let them bluster. I mean, I should be in the hospital healing for another few months, and instead I'm out and walking around.

[12-29-62] Sydney is awesome. Her, Jenny, and Milo suprised me with a night out on the town. I really needed it. I already got my place all cleaned up from two months of me not living there, but I still have that armor and weapon I got from the promotion, and I'm not sure what to do with it.

Anyway, we went out and partied hard- we went to Dante's Inferno, which is this awesome club- I had heard about how great it was, but I didn't know anyone who could get us in, so I had never been. It was awesome in there! We danced until the sun came up, and then played drinking games until it went back down. I fooled around with Sydney some more, and things were pretty hot and exciting. Milo and Jenny crashed on my couch, and I took Syndey out for some breakfast.

[12-30-62] Sydney got us all into a new years party on the Seattle Space Needle. It's so awesome- we'll get to see the fireworks and everything over the entire city- weather permitting, and I'll get to spend the night with Sydney. I really like her.

[1-2-63] Okay, I know I'm seeing things, because I thought Micky showed up and gave me an envelope. He said it was what he owed me, which was weird, because Mickly only owed me like three grand for the jobs I did before he died. But the money in the envelope was a lot more than that. He told me he would be in the sunny place we used to talk about, and he was acting all paranoid and crazy. I think he meant his place in the Camans, where he and my Dad used to go on fishing trips. But he said he would come see me again before he left.

[1-7-63] Okay, that was the weirdest few days I've ever had. Right after I wrote my last entry, I had a bunch of goons bashing down my door and dragging me off to be interrogated. My therapist was there, and she told me to come clean with them, but that was weird. I mean, I took the personal computer with me, and I don't live on corporate grounds, so it's not like they could access it through the matrix- it isn't even hooked to anything.

They questioned me for a few days about the "subversive elements" that I was being exposed to, and made me sing the corporate anthem, and then dumped me back at my apartment. I was so freaked out that I went and stayed with Milo for a few days.

[1-8-63] I finally met with Cooter. He said that he wouldn't come to my place, because it was probably wired with bugs and cameras, and after what happened, he might be right. So I went to his place, and he scanned me and made me leave my car keys and this computer and even my shoes outside. I was afraid someone would steal my car and my shoes, but no one did. For the next couple hours, he told me about all of his conspiracy theories, and even mentioned something about Dunkelzhan.

[1-10-63] Okay, so the suits grabbed me again. They wanted to know exactly what Cooter told me, which was weird. So when they let me out, I went over to Cooters, and borrowed one of his bug scanners, and I ripped up all the carpet in my apartment, down to the cement, and then scanned all the walls and pulled all the bugs out, and then I hooked up this box that Cooter said would make it hard for them to listen to me, but it's just this weird static hiss that my ears seem to filter out.

[1-11-63] When I showed up for my physical, Dr. Walters switched the eye on, and it worked perfectly. I can now see in infra-red, normal light, and I have dampeners for flashes of bright light, like flares, gunshots, and other stuff. He said I was done with my physical therapy, and then when I went to leave, the suits showed up again. They wanted to know where I was going, and warned me to stop my subversive activities. I had no idea what they were talking about, so I told them that, and they told me that they knew what I was up to.

One of the fraggers even went so far as to say that removal of company wiretaps without company permission was illegal. I was fragging shocked by that, so I told them to frag off, and I left. I don't know that I can go back to work there.

[1-12-63] I guess I don't have to. They terminated me today. I also got a call from Father McLawrence. Apparently Micky died, which... I thought was weird, because Micky died like almost two months ago. Father McLawrence said that he had moved to the Camans house, like I thought he had, but a corporate team showed up and he was dead now.

Father McLawrence said that he knew it didn't mean much, but that Micky had left me a bunch of money.

[1-14-63] Okay, this is just getting weird. The suits showed up again, which was weird because I don't work for thier company anymore. They told me to surrender a list of assets that Micky had given me, and I told them to go frag themselves. They beat me for a while, so I told them a few of the places he had stashed money, and they left.

[1-15-63] The corporate stooges showed up on my doorstep again tonight, just like Cooter said they would. Apparently they've been reading this log all along. To my therapist, I would like to say, I really did imagine you naked, but it was a much younger you. And to the corporate stooges, I hope you enjoyed the suprise I left for you.

I'm outta here.

[kv]

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Okay, Cooted removed the wireless tracker that allowed them to read this thing, but now it's not working right. I guess I'll have to get myself another computer or something.
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Anyway, the corporate goons showed up, just like Cooter had said. Milo told me they could watch the thing, but I thought he just meant j2tg4jg2408j2-- the therapist could read it.

I put a grenade in my old apartment. Not enough to kill anyone, but enough to scare them. And I took pictures of the guys they sent to rough me up- one of the useful upgrades of my cybereye. Dr. Walters suggested I get a patch to cover it, because it's a lot redder than my other eye, but I got a patch to hide it- so no one knows that I have it. jnmmMO#I(KJ

Okay enough of this. But last, Father McLawrence told me he knows some people who can use a guy like me. Some jerk named MFI, and a few other people. Micky's business contacts are still out there, and they know that even though I'm not making pickups or drop offs anymore, I'll pay them good for what they know.

I'm still dating Sydney, she's awesome. Milo is still dating Jenny, although he's working for DocWagon now as a paramedic, and she's still with the old company. Maybe she'll leave soon.

Anyway, I used Micky's money to set myself up a life. And I got a new apartment, and stripped it down to the concrete, so I can be there without worrying about bugs. And I'm going to be extra careful about who I trust from here on out.

My friends call me Patch now. That'll work as a name.

   -Patch