Shadowrun Pub

Shadowrun RPG => SR3 (Shadowrun 3rd Edition) General Discussion => Topic started by: knasser on February 17, 2007, 03:30:12 PM

Title: Tales of the Clueless
Post by: knasser on February 17, 2007, 03:30:12 PM
Hi,

I've been trying to contact the original founder of the CLUE files but my email gets bounced back and the site appears to be down at the moment. However, I do know that they weren't updated in over three years. So it is my humble attention to start it up again because it's just too good not to.

For anyone who doesn't remember the C.L.U.E. files, they were a collection of Shadowrun game anecdotes detailing acts of gross stupidity. There were the runners who pulled off a highly successful infiltration of a facility through an oil pipe... before trying to cut their way out with a blow-torch. There was the bitter runner who detonated a rival player's vehicle while it was in front of him killing two thirds of the team and also the legendary "I AM DEATH" mage.

If anyone has any such similar stories (and some of us must), then I see it as a moral duty to bring pleasure to the world by sharing. ;) If everyone posts stories here, I'll format the good ones for the CLUE site (link in my sig).

Cheers,

-K.
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: kv on February 18, 2007, 12:08:45 AM
My personal favorite story is "Ensign Red Shirt."

  -kv
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: kv on March 05, 2007, 11:36:24 PM
Sorry, omae, but I'm planning on turning my nefarious run encounters (including the worst negotiation ever) into a funny shadowrun webcomic, which hopefully will garner the attention of FanPro and WizKids, and they'll send me money or a cease and desist order.

Hmmm... probably the order. But whatever. ;D

  -kv
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: BornKrazi on March 06, 2007, 03:48:23 PM
I always thought it would great to work for them and help write new sourcebooks and whatnot.  I'd even do it for free (hint hint to anyone of you suits who might be reading this thread)!
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: Gabriel on March 07, 2007, 04:54:44 AM
Too bad Fortune isn't around anymore, he actually DID work for FanPro/FASA. He would never tell us what his actual handle was, but that's to be expected. Oh well, if you're listening, Fortune, a runner wants to work for FREE!!

Gabriel
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: kv on March 07, 2007, 11:14:07 AM
It's not hard to work for them- you just have to get your foot in the door. Send them idea proposals, anything to get them interested in you, and they'll start seriously looking at your work if it's good.

As near as I can tell, the Shadowrun "missions" that they've been putting out each month are made by the guys who do the demos in shops, not the writers like Jury.

  -kv
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: BornKrazi on March 07, 2007, 04:33:45 PM
You know there was a comic shop down my way that closed down almost a year ago.  Every Tuesday I use to host a Shadowrun night there, it was great I got lots of free sourcebooks cuz the owners knew nothing about it and I had to teach them.  I think that's where I got a lot of my GM experience from.
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: Nike Shox on March 07, 2007, 05:59:35 PM
Which comic shop was it?
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: BornKrazi on March 07, 2007, 06:31:48 PM
The one in Aquia by the former Gargoyles Coffee bar, adjacent to the movie theater...I think it's a jewelry store now or something...
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: Nike Shox on March 08, 2007, 01:43:17 PM
oh ok, I think I know where it is.... I think you do good being a GM.....
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: BornKrazi on March 08, 2007, 06:43:26 PM
You should've seen the celebration of my 100th game.  It was a nerdathon and I was center stage...
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: Gabriel on March 09, 2007, 06:27:36 AM
My girlfreind would probably have passed out from all the nerd meat in the place. She has a thing for nerds.

Gabriel
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: BornKrazi on March 09, 2007, 07:21:53 AM
LOL  maybe, there was close to 40 of us there...some of them came complete with pocket protectors!
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: Zone on March 09, 2007, 07:27:34 AM
My girlfreind would probably have passed out from all the nerd meat in the place. She has a thing for nerds.

Gabriel

Well, that explains a lot :D


Did I tell you guys about Headshot?  His name was really Bob, or something, but he refused to wear a helmet - didn't want to mess up his mullet or some such -  and in the first three fire fights we were in he took a bullet to the head each time.  Minimal damage as luck would have it but a streetname was born
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: BornKrazi on March 09, 2007, 07:30:43 AM
Krazi...that would birth a street name such as that...
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: Gabriel on March 09, 2007, 07:52:55 AM
That's funny as hell. Oh, and as for my grilfreind's proclivity for nerds, well what can I say. I'm a happy camper. But she STILL wants to publish a Nerd porn magazine similar to Hustler or something. I keep telling her it would never work since nerds are, as a general rule, shy and intreverted and woudl therefore be unwilling to pose in the nude. But she still has her dreams...

Gabriel
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: BornKrazi on March 09, 2007, 09:22:51 AM
There is probably a slight profit margin in that...
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: Gabriel on March 09, 2007, 10:50:27 AM
Probably. It sould just be tough finding the right models for her. She's kind of discriminating.

Gabriel
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: BornKrazi on March 09, 2007, 12:18:36 PM
Understandable...but you know elf porn is the hot thing right now...so she could just use you for now...
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: Gabriel on March 12, 2007, 05:50:17 AM
Who says she doesn't....

Gabriel, Sexy Elf
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: BornKrazi on March 12, 2007, 09:55:10 AM
I think my eyes are beginning to bleed...
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: Gabriel on March 12, 2007, 11:34:37 AM
Then get new ones. That's what I did. ;)

Gabriel
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: BornKrazi on March 12, 2007, 09:59:02 PM
Can I send you the bill?
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: Curris on March 12, 2007, 11:12:52 PM
That's funny as hell. Oh, and as for my grilfreind's proclivity for nerds, well what can I say. I'm a happy camper. But she STILL wants to publish a Nerd porn magazine similar to Hustler or something. I keep telling her it would never work since nerds are, as a general rule, shy and intreverted and woudl therefore be unwilling to pose in the nude. But she still has her dreams...

Gabriel

You are failing to realize that that is not speculation, but, rather, an offer. . .
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: Gabriel on March 13, 2007, 05:05:01 AM
Can I send you the bill?

Sure, you can SEND any bill you want.

Oh, and Curris, I know it is an offer, but I'm as much of a nerd as the rest of you so there's no way in hell I'm posing for her. That woman bites.

Gabriel
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: BornKrazi on March 13, 2007, 06:56:53 AM
I don't care if the bill gets paid, it'll be in YOUR hands not mine! ;D
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: Gabriel on March 14, 2007, 09:17:08 AM
Not for long it won't chummer.

Gabriel
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: kv on March 14, 2007, 11:07:28 AM
Did it just get really quiet in here? What happened to Krazi?

  -kv
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: Gabriel on March 14, 2007, 12:38:41 PM
Maybe Nike has him "all tied up." You never know with that horny couple.

Gabriel
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: BornKrazi on March 14, 2007, 10:50:26 PM
Well I'm touched that my day absence was noticed, and I wish she had me tied up...but the truth of the matter was that I was working and just didn't feel like getting on before I went back to work. ;D
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: Gabriel on March 15, 2007, 06:07:38 AM
Well, I should just smite you for not taking the perfect set-up for bragging. Hey Nike, you need to cut him off for a week or so for that one.

Gabriel
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: BornKrazi on March 15, 2007, 10:45:43 PM
 :-X
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: Nike Shox on March 16, 2007, 07:30:22 AM
It's all good... :-*
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: knasser on March 18, 2007, 05:38:18 AM

I really, really, really hate to bring up something on topic, as everyone is having such a good time, but I finally got the CLUE files (http://www.knasser.me.uk/clue.php) up and running. Having just come back here and read through the whole of this thread, I'm sure you guys (and nerd obsessed girls) can come up with some amusing SR stories for it.

I now return you to your normally scheduled baiting and sexual innuendo. :P

-K.
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: kv on March 18, 2007, 12:08:30 PM
Meh. We we re mostly done with that. ;D

Anyway. Honestly, if you wanted to host some of the older stories on here on your site, I'm pretty sure most people wouldn't mind, especially if they were credited (I'm speaking for myself, for instance, but I highly doubt that anyone is going to object to having thier stories hosted where more people can read them.)

Do you want me to reformat and submit, or how did you want to do this?

  -kv
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: BornKrazi on March 18, 2007, 10:44:08 PM
So are we basically describing a shadowrun adventure in the eyes of a character?
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: Gabriel on March 19, 2007, 05:27:37 AM
Read the Clue Files (you know, that pretty link Knasser posted) and see what they are talking about. Trust me, you won't be disapointed.

Gabriel
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: kv on March 19, 2007, 10:18:39 AM
Krazi, have you never read the C.L.U.E. Files?

Ooh, someone needs to find a current link, so he can understand the Joy and Anguish that is the C.L.U.E. Files.

  -kv
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: knasser on March 19, 2007, 03:49:30 PM
Krazi - These (http://archive.dumpshock.com/CLUE/) were the original C.L.U.E. files. They haven't been updated in many a year and my attempts to contact the original author have failed. I've basically started a new version as I thought it was just too good to waste. :)

Kid_Vid - Don't worry too much about the formatting as I can take care of that. What I need is just some good stories of player (or GM) idiocy or possibly outrageous misfortune. I'm trying to steer away from general mockery and examples where the GM just says: "You never said your character was wearing pants to the meet, so I'm going to have Lonestar arrest you on the way." But the main criteria is that it's funny. My favourite from the old files almost has to be the one where the team successfully infiltrate the enemy base through an oil pipeline, bypassing all the security undetected before finally reaching their destination... and trying to cut their way out with a blow torch! ;D (Clue - it's an oil pipe! )

I'm putting up a couple more at the moment, by the way.

Cheers,

-K.
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: kv on March 19, 2007, 06:34:21 PM
Knasser- here is one you can post. I thought it was all the way updated, but it wasn't, so I finished it and here's the link it all of it's horrible stupidity:

http://ingomonk.bullhonkie.com/forums/index.php?board=11;action=display;threadid=1200

  -kv
(just make sure you credit Ruski as the GM, and me as a player)
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: BornKrazi on March 19, 2007, 09:13:06 PM
I'll check it out when I have more time...
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: knasser on March 24, 2007, 02:46:51 PM

KV, that was absolutely great. I love the narration! :D

It's up on the site, now, as Clue File #8.

Many thanks.

-K.
Title: Re:Tales of the Clueless
Post by: kv on March 25, 2007, 02:24:25 AM
HELL YES! I made an entry for the clue files!

Wait... that's not a good thing. Oh well, I'm happy with it.

  -kv